Your Dirty Laundry Has An Expiration Date

In a world of short attention spans and fear-mongering headlines, it has become extraordinarily difficult to capture eyeballs. In seconds you can scroll to something shinier, someone hotter, or someplace warmer.

And then there’s the negativity bias, that prehistoric survival instinct that once helped us dodge saber-toothed tigers but now just makes us rage-click on headlines about eggs and immigrants. The amygdala—our brain’s panic button—was once a noble guardian. Now? It’s an over-caffeinated Karen, shrieking for the manager because the Wi-Fi is slow.

There’s one dilemma with that equation – oversupply kills value. But is that really a bad thing? For the media, perhaps. But for folks like you and I, it’s a godsend.

Take Destiny, internet philosopher turned unwilling exhibitionist. His ex let the world see a little too much of him, and for about five whole minutes, the internet was scandalized. Then, like a dog with ADHD, the algorithm spotted something shinier, bloodier, or more politically incorrect, and boom—Destiny’s dignity lived to die another day.

Or Kanye—the undefeated heavyweight champion of media insanity. He drops an antisemitic Super Bowl ad, gets dropped from a few deals, and what happens? We shrug and move on. Did you wake up today wondering about Kanye? No? Didn’t think so.

Biden or Trump. Immigration or Ukraine. The cost of eggs or the dump I took on your porch for littering in my front yard. The anger economy isn’t as big as we pretend. If people can forget Kanye setting his career on fire, why the hell should you care if Susan from accounting thinks your passion project is lame?

Our indifference towards headlines is irrefutable proof that we aren’t as susceptible to scrutiny as our fears suggest.

I remember watching Jackass: The Movie and feeling an odd kind of jealousy. Not because I’ve ever had the urge to shove a toy car where the sun don’t shine, but because I saw a group of idiots having the time of their lives—laughing, living, flipping the bird to the status quo. Meanwhile, the rest of us grow up, trade joy for approval, and wonder why we feel dead inside.  

So, fly your freak flag. Do your thing. The world moves too fast to notice, and that’s a beautiful f*cking thing.

----

Oh, and because Zuck made us all digital peasants, follow me on Instagram, YouTube, and X (Twitter)—because who doesn’t want more questionable wisdom in their feed?